Wise Guy

Guy Kawasaki returns with a book about life lessons that is entertaining, fun and yes, wise.

Wise Guy is a very personal book since he uses personal stories to give context to his pearls of wisdom. From the beginning Kawasaki clearly states:

"Before you ask, or wonder, this is not my autobiography or memoir. It is a compilation of the most enlightening stories of my life. Think personal lessons, not personal history."

Wise Guy is a collection of life lessons. We can learn from our own experience or vicariously from other people's experiences and this is what Guy has to offer: "my goal is to educate, not to awe you".

I'm not sure the order the author followed to write the book. He could have thought about a lesson to share and search for an anecdote to enhance or he could have remind a life event and search for lessons in it. Either way Wise Guy is a book loaded with nuggets of wisdom.

Some of the favorites ones are:

"Be a  hard-ass if you are a teacher, manager, coach, or someone who influences people. You’re not doing anyone a favor by lowering your standards and expectations in an effort to be kind, gentle, or popular. The future cost of  short-term kindness is great."

The world is full of PC-ness and being blunt and clear can be a risk worth taking. None wins from  hypocrisy. 

"Don’t consider yourself a victim... If you believe you’re a victim, you’ll truly become one.Take responsibility for your fate. You still may not succeed, but at least you’ll try."

This is a nugget consistent with other authors like Fred Kofman, Joseph Campbell and others. The victim has the benefit of not having to take responsibility but at a great cost, impotence and lack of freedom.

"Make your personal interests known. This provides “hooks” to develop additional and deeper relationships.  These relationships have led to friendships, adventures, and financial rewards. My life would have been a lot less interesting if I had not “opened the kimono” and unveiled my personal interests."

"Cultivate relationships with people you would run to see. Anyone who doesn’t pass the Shopping Center Test may waste your time, and life is too short. Second, be the person other people run to see. This is a useful test for how you treat others."

Living in a connected world is an opportunity to expand and grow. People are more than their jobs and sharing what you love can be a glue to support more and better relationships. But also the myriad of relationships can be overwhelming, Guy's advice is prioritize and spend your time wisely.

"If you provide value, you can ask  for—  and  receive— reciprocation. This is the glue that holds society together. You may not care about reciprocation, but the important concept is to help people so much that they would gladly reciprocate."

Adam Smith (and others before him) stressed the value of social cooperation. The division of labor works only in a cooperative environment. It is a mistake to think that competition is the opposite of cooperation, competition is the freedom to provide more value than others.You can't get value from society if you don't provide value, unless you are a parasite.

"Smile. The more you smile and laugh, the more you will smile and laugh. The more you smile and laugh, the easier life gets. You can never go wrong being nice, and there’s no such thing as being too nice."

This is one of the best ones. People live such dull lives that being playful seems as a sin or a crime (as Bernie DeKoven used to say). Believe in humanity and enjoy life more.

I found one of the last chapters, Ohana, quite special. Guy was humble and brave enough to ask his family and close acquaintances to share a pearl of wisdom they acquire from interacting with him. They share nice personal stories and what they learned form them.

Everybody should take the time to do what Kawasaki did with Wise Guy. Reflect on your life and what you learned, thank the people who touch your life and gave you a lesson, and ask those around you how you have made their lives better. 

The Awakened Family

A good idea buried in rubbish.

I became interested in Tsabary after an invitation to one of her conferences. Trying to become familiar with her work I watched her TEDx talk in SF and an interview with Oprah Winfrey. Her thesis about changing the idea of perfect parenting for self-improvement through our interactions with our children is right on. Even more when combined with mindfulness to be aware and sensible to the moments parents get hooked in power struggles with their children. However, I read her book just to be disappointed.

To begin with, Tsabary's hubris is overwhelming. Not many authors sign their book with their degrees - PhD. Is this a sign of what is inside? Being a scientist (assuming the degree from Columbia means a training in the science) the reader would expect some intellectual humility. Isaac Newton said "if I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulder of giants". Not for Tsabary. In spite of many of her ideas can be tracked to other people's work the books have no references, no mentions of anyone but her and her patients. The ideas in the book can be track to intellectuals like Freud, Csikszentmihalyi, Kahneman, Branden, Nietzsche, Baumrind, Pinker and the evolutionary psychologists, and more. She does not claim that the ideas are original but the omision speaks for itself.

Tsabary's work is not only unoriginal but contradictory. For instance she blames the parenting errors to the ego, but also advices that if parents do not care for themselves little can be done; Ego-Self long debate which Tsabary ignores and oversimplifies like in.

"The key to conscious parenting is to become aware of our ego, this persistent voice in our head, and its false ways. To parent well, it is imperative that we realize the ego isn’t who we are."

Tsabary's idea is to "re-educate" the ego. The ego is emotional, impulsive. By being aware we use our reason. In other words her advice can be summarized using Kahneman's terminology as making system 2 take control before relying on system 1 to respond in automatic but more coherently with our values.

Finally, irritating and bad science is her generalization of bad parenting. Maybe from her own experience as a mother and clinical psychologist she considers that all parents are dysfunctional, victims of their own parents, ill-fated, unable to have moral judgment and exercise their free will to be better. At times the book makes the reader feel overwhelmed; I'm such a bad parent. Human contradiction show up in all spheres; work, love relationships, leisure, education, etc. yet we keep moving forward improving. Why is parenting different? Tsabary's rhetoric resembles some religions by making people feel bad before taking the salvation ace under her sleeve.

How to Be Everything

From "What do you want to be when you grow up?" to "What are you up to these days?"

Emilie Wapnick rose to fame after her TED talk "Why some of us don't have one true calling" that has almost 4M views. Emilie has devoted to help people who are "multipotentialites" or someone with many interests and creative pursuits. This book is an extension of her talk giving anecdotal support to what multipotentialites are, and what they do to be more effective in spite of their multiple interests and lack of consistency.

The book is a good intro for multipotentialites, a feel good, "Welcome to the tribe" (as the title of one the chapters) book. It provides some tools to assess if one is indeed a multipotentialite and its kind. Finally it offers some tools to improve effectiveness. However the books is somehow soft, in a way it is expected since the core idea of multipotentialites is that they don't follow social norms on how to live ones lives. Nonetheless, that lightness seems like a rationalization, an excuse to fail on delivering. Like it or not multipotentialites live in the real world where people expect results on time, on cost and on quality, no excuses.

Hope Wapnick work gets the attention in academic circles to become a research subject and thus future books and papers. Meanwhile you can find more about Wapnick and multipotentialites in her site Puttylike.com

The Last Lecture

On September 18th, 2007 Randy Pausch delivered a unique lecture. For years Carnegie Mellon had a series of lectures titled "The Last Lecture" where professors spoke as if it were their last lecture about their personal and professional journeys. In the case of Randy it was indeed his last lecture. Diagnosed the previous summer with pancreatic cancer he had just a few months ahead to live. Instead of lamenting and feeling defeated he dedicated his last months to enjoy life and his family. The father of three small children (Dylan 6, Logan 3, and Chloe 18 months) and married to Jai for eight years, his lecture and book are statement for them and we, as audience, have the privilege to learn from it.

Professionally, Randy Pausch was a computer scientist from Brown University, PhD and Professor from Carnegie Mellon, pioneer in virtual reality and Walt Disney Imagineer, above all an educator.

His lecture "Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" became an instant hit (as of today more than 18 million views in YouTube). After this lecture Pausch wrote the book with more details about his story. The Last Lecture is an autobiography full of inspiring lessons. 

Preparing the lecture Randy struggle with what made him unique. After playing with ideas and memories he conclude that he achieved all his childhood dreams, therefore the title.

The book is broadly divided in three sections. First he shares his childhood dreams and how they were achieved. The lessons are of passion, perseverance, faith and hard work. The second part is a series of anecdotes that give the reader an idea of who Randy Pausch was; an optimist, hard working nerd, passionate about whatever he was involved in (learning, teaching, working, in his marriage, parenting, etc). The last part relates to his values and beliefs. Randy appreciated the community and helping others to achieve their own dreams, family, generosity in general, hard work, frugality, team work, truthfulness, industriousness, and more. 

Randy passed away just 10 months after his "Last Lecture" but his inspiration will remain for many years later.

From USA Today Obituary

Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008)

My rating 4 stars.

Zen in the Martial Arts

This short book by Joe Hyams is a recollection of stories in his journey as martial artist. Hyams was a Hollywood reporter and writer who started in martial arts in his 30'. He had the opportunity to learn Kempo, Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, Hapkido, Aikido, from big masters like Bruce Lee, Ed Parker, Bong Soo Han, and Jim Lau.  

Zen in the Martial Arts is not a book about Martial Arts nor a book about Zen philosophy is a story of self discovery, and how their application can help control ones mind to achieve great results in life.

"this is a book from which readers may learn to apply the principles of Zen, as reflected in the martial arts, to their lives and thus open up a potential source of inner strength they may never have dreamt they possessed."

I stumble upon Hyams book looking for a quote by Bruce Lee who was one of the his master teachers. 

"You will never learn anything new unless your are ready to accept yourself with your limitations. You must accept the fact that you are capable, in some directions and limited in others, and you must develop your capabilities"

A conclusion of Zen in the Martial Arts is that you don't need Martial Arts to understand and appreciate Zen teachings about mind and self control, yet not because you practice Martial Arts you will learn Zen. Anyone can master the techniques yet just those willing to think, feel and appreciate the tradition will grasp the millennial teaching of the masters.

"it is possible to master the physical techniques of the martial arts without understanding or absorbing the spiritual and philosophical basis of the arts. On the other hand, it is also possible to apply the spiritual precepts of Zen in the martial arts without involving oneself in the arts."

Powerful inspiring pearls of wisdom like "Seize life at the moment", but not deep in philosophy.

After finishing the book I felt a urge to return to my practice with a different mindset.

My rating 3 stars.

Tao Te Ching

Lao Tsu (also know as Lao Tse or Laozi) was a Chinese philosopher during the 6th Century B.C. Despite some controversy over his existence, his contribution to the Chinese and World Philosophy is undeniable.

The Tao Te Ching, also know as Daodejin, is a book of 81 chapters organized in two books. The name approximate translation is "The Classic of the Virtuous Way". Next to the Bible it is the most translated work of literature. Tao Te Ching is not free of polemic. It is know from copies and chronicles of later writers, and biographers, who tell different stories or arrange the chapters differently. There is even a relevant debate about his influence over Confucius.  Nonetheless this book is a masterpiece of world literature. 

Valuable teachings from The Tao Te Ching are relevant personally, as well as for governments and leaders.

Personally I found lessons of austerity and frugality very though provoking.

But I have three precious things which I prize and hold fast. The first is gentleness; the second is economy; and the third is shrinking from taking precedence of others.

It is better to leave a vessel unfilled, than to attempt to carry it when it is full. If you keep feeling a point that has been sharpened, the point cannot long preserve its sharpness. When gold and jade fill the hall, their possessor cannot keep them safe. When wealth and honours lead to arrogancy, this brings its evil on itself. When the work is done, and one's name is becoming distinguished, to withdraw into obscurity is the way of Heaven.

The highest excellence is like (that of) water. The excellence of water appears in its benefiting all things, and in its occupying, without striving (to the contrary), the low place which all men dislike. Hence (its way) is near to (that of) the Tao.

The analogy with water was popularized by Bruce Lee

Another area of wisdom refers to how the world works and evolves. Similar to much later teachings of Michael Polanyi, F.A. Hayek or the different schools of System Dynamics, Lao Tzu explains the value of spontaneous order when he explains that the Tao precedes even the Gods because the constant is change.

The Tao that can be described is not the enduring and unchanging Tao. 

The work is done, but how no one can see; 'Tis this that makes the power not cease to be.

Movement is a necessary condition for change. Let movement go on, and the condition of rest will gradually arise.

However the key lessons relates to government are as relevant today as in the Ancient times. No wonder why Murray Rothbard considered Lao Tzu the first

libertarian. 

Governing a great state is like cooking small fish. 

Therefore a sage has said, 'I will do nothing (of purpose), and the people will be transformed of themselves; I will be fond of keeping still, and the people will of themselves become correct. I will take no trouble about it, and the people will of themselves become rich; I will manifest no ambition, and the people will of themselves attain to the primitive simplicity.'

Therefore he who would administer the kingdom, honouring it as he honours his own person, may be employed to govern it, and he who would administer it with the love which he bears to his own person may be entrusted with it.

The people suffer from famine because of the multitude of taxes consumed by their superiors. It is through this that they suffer famine. The people are difficult to govern because of the (excessive) agency of their superiors (in governing them). It is through this that they are difficult to govern.

The sage does not accumulate (for himself). The more that he expends for others, the more does he possess of his own; the more that he gives to others, the more does he have himself.

A book worth reading and discussion in a Socratic Dialogue.

My rating four stars.

Symposium room at
Universidad Francisco Marroquín

Get some headspace

I first learned about Andy Puddicombe through a conference by Dan Harris at Google (see bellow) where he explains as a regular guy his journey from an skeptic to a meditation and mindfulness promoter. Dan's businessmen style was very different from the stereotype of the 60's psychedelic hippy. I have considered meditation for quite a while but never take the initiative.

My first approach was to try Headspace app in my phone. A 10-minute 10-day introduction ended up being promising. Since I like to dig into the theory and the story of the author, I found "Get some Headspace" very appealing.

In his book, Andy Puddicombe, explains how he left his life in California to become a Buddhist Monk, a trip that is less unusual than I thought, but popularized by Steve Jobs biographers. Contrary to extreme cases, some as radical as Michael Roach and Ian Thorson, Andy's priorities are the day to day lives.

Andy Poodicombe's goal for the book is "demystify meditation and make it accessible and relevant to as many people as possible".

I found Headspace very interesting, indeed Andy's learning struggle didn't deter me from going on. The book supplements the app by giving a thorough explanation of the rationale and history behind Andy's model. For a Frontal-Left like me he supports his teaching with extensive research about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness. He synthesized years of training and practice in a technique that is suited for people in modern settings who can't (are not willing to) step back and regroup.

The second part of Get Some Headspace is a more in depth explanation of the "Take-10" program. It touches base on how the benefits of meditation affect other areas of life, like work, sleep, food, relationships, etc.

Finally a summary of some clinical cases exemplify the power but paced process of change through mindfulness.

Overall Get Some Headspace is about being in peace with ones thoughts and emotions. contrary to common believes , meditation is not about a clearing the mind, or silencing thoughts. Meditation is about the skill needed to step aside without getting involved.

I'm not sure how far I will get, at least this time I feel I found a mentor to accompany me on this quest.